<DIV>Episode Guide of Family Guy!
How this is going to work is first a word for word explanation of the episode from the DVD itself, and then my commentary
translating it because some of these explanations are worded very odd!
1. DEATH HAS A SHADOW
When Peter mistakenly recieves a welfare check for $150,000, he attempts to return the money to the taxpayers in a blimp
at the Super Bowl.
My Explanation: In other words the government screws up and he uses his heart instead of his brain and Lois gets mad when
she finds out that they are on welfare so he throws the money off of a blimp at the Super Bowl and then gets arrested.
Air Date: 1/31/99
2. I NEVER MET THE DEAD MAN
After Peter topples the local cable tv satillite by crashing his car into it, he then drives his family nuts by spending
too much time with them - without TV.
ME: Actually they explain that one pretty good.
3. CHITTTY CHITTY DEATH BANG
Meg infuriates Lois by going to a party instead of celebrating Stewie's birthday and to make matters worse, the party
turns out to be a cult meeting.
ME: They leave out that it is Stewie's first birthday and its not an ordinary cult meeting, it's the day they drink the
Kool-Aid and leave this planet if you know what I mean.
4. MIND OVER MURDER
After punching a woman he thought was a man at a soccer game, Peter is placed under house arrest and turns his basement
into a bar where Lois becomes an acclaimed lounge singer.
ME: On the DVD it says Meg becomes the acclaimed lounge singer, I spared them the embarressment and corrected them.
5. A HERO SITS NEXT DOOR
Peter gets extremely annoyed when a wheelchair-bound neighbor one-ups him with his winning attitude and slick maneuvers
at a company baseball game.
ME: The first appearence of Joe.
6. THE SON ALSO DRAWS
Peter takes a wrong turn headinf to NYC and winds up at a native American Casino where Lois becomes a slot machine addict.
ME: They leave out that she bets their car and Peter has to try and convince the Native Americans to give them their car
7. BRIAN: PORTRAIT OF A DOG
Brian's misbehavior at a dog show temporarily lands him on death row at the pound.
ME: Yeah, that's right.
8. PETER PETER CAVIAR EATER
The solution to making good on a ten million dollar bid Peter makes at a charity auction sems to be donating a mansion
Lois just inherited from her aunt - until the building formerly deemed as a whorehouse is deemed worthless.
ME: WHAT!? That's the episode backwards! First Lois inherits the mansion from her dead aunt, then Peter bids one hundred
million dollars and then when he doesn't have the money he has to try to convince the money collectors that the house is worth
one hundred million dollars and then he accidently finds pictures of all the presidents with whores in the house.
9. HOLY CRAP
When Peter's dad is forced to retire, he is hired on at Peter's factory but the old man quickly creates misery with his
autocratic style. Peter's idea for getting him fired again - convince him to kidnap the Pope.
ME: Again that is wrong! Peter kidnaps the Pope to convince his father to like him after being fired from his father who
became the next manager at the toy facter Peter worked at.
10. DA BOOM
When world wide disasters usher in the new millenium, the Griffins relocate to a new town where Peter becomes the weapon-championing
leader of the citizens at this new world who eventially runs the family out of town.
ME: Well it's close, they relocate to a twinkee factory and rebuild society.
11. BRIAN IN LOVE
A therapist tells Brian his carpet baretting is the result of his repressed feelings for Lois.
ME: Yes, that's only half the episode, meanwhile Peter is trying to potty train Stewie! And baretting!? Can't they just
12. LOVE THY TROPHY
When Stewie is placed in a Foster home because Meg falsely claims he's a crack addicted baby to get bigger tips as a waitress,
the neighborhood puts aside their differences to get him back.
ME: It's not their differences, they are mad at eachother because they think the others stole the trophy they won for
putting together the best float.
13. DEATH IS A BITCH
In an attempt to avoid a hospital bill, Peter pretends he's dead, thereby attracting, then trying to outrun Death. When
Peter injures Death in a scuffle he must temporarily take over Death's unpopular duties.
ME: He doesn't pretend he's dead, the writes on the hospital bill that he is dead. And he doesn't injure Death, Death
slips and sprains his ankle.
14. THE KING IS DEAD
Peter wrestles control away from Lois during a Quohog Players Theatre group production of "The King and I."
Making the play into a cyborg battle complete with bikini-clad dancing girls.
ME: Yeah, that's about right.
15. I AM PETER HEAR ME ROAR
Peter's sexist remarks at work land him face - to - face with feminist attorney Gloria Ironbacs, who sends him to a sensitivity
training class that makes him too sensitive.
ME: Yeah, that is right also.
16. IF I'M DYIN, I'M LYIN
Peter gets a reputation for being a healer when he "miraculously" cures a made -up disease Chris uses as part
of a scam on the "Grant a Wish Foundation."
ME: Well first of all Peter made up the disease and the scam was Peter's idea also, because his faverite show was going
to be cancelled.
17. RUNNING MATES
Lois and Peter face off against eachother in a bitter run for the school board culminating in Peter spreading lies and
sexy pictures of Lois around town.
ME: Yeah, that's it.
18. A PICTURES WORTH A THOUSAND BUCKS
When Chris's painting is championed by a snobby NY gallery owner who alienates Peter, Peter decides to exploit Meg's bird
ME: Yeah, that's it.
19. FIFTEEN MINUTES OF SHAME
The Griffins star in a reality TV show, but Meg quits, prompting the producers to replace her with a scantily-clad vixen
Meg while the real girl becomes a nanny for the von trapp children
ME: WHAT!? I don't remember Meg becoming a nanny, I remember her going to a hotel and then the rest of the family eventially
quit and were replaced as well!
20. ROAD TO RHODE ISLAND
Brian goes to CA to escort Stewie home from his visit with his grandparents, but the dog's drinking binge results in the
two travelors losing their luggage and tickets, prompting them to jump trains and trucks all the way back home.
ME: Yeah that's about right.
21. LET'S GO TO THE HOP
When a craze involving frog-licking hits the school, Peter goes undercover to stop the euphoria-causing trend and winds
up as an icon of cool.
ME: Again that's accurate.
22. DAMMIT, JANET!
Stewie falls in love with a toddler at day care named Janet, while Lois, now a stewardess, and Peter, taking advantage
of free trips, board a plane that is hijacked to Cuba.
ME: Yeah, I had to watch this episode because I didn't remember it.
23. THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT PAULIE
After the mob helps Peter get his car repaired, he and Lois keep trying to avoid repaying the favor, in the process Lois
offends the nephew of the Don and a contract is taken on her life.
ME: WRONG-OH! (Copy right of Jim Carrey and uh Universal Studios) Lois has nothing to do with repaying the Mob back or
avoiding them, she doesn't offend the Don's nephew, Peter says too much and the nephew gets the wrong idea.
24.HE'S TOO SEXY FOR HIS FAT
Although Chris rejects the idea of liposuction in his efforts to lose weight, Peter becomes addicted to plastic surgery.
ME: Not really addicted, he does it once and then wants to do it again.
25. E. PETERBUS UNUM
A technicallity allows the Griffin home to secede from the U.S as an indepoendent country; but Peter's abrasice behavior
twoards neighbors prompts sanctions against "Petoria" by the federal government.
ME: Heh, good episode.
26. THE STORY ON PAGE ONE
Meg writes an unflattering newspaper article on Mayor Adam West, which Peter discovers before press time and replaces
with an article claiming Luke Perry is gay: Peter then tries to seduce Perry to prove the validitiy of his article.
An over zealous Lois loses a young piano student she chloroforms in order to force-train the girl to win the state piano
competition, but then discovers that Peter, when inebriated, is a piano-playing genious.
ME: They don't even explain the other half of the episode, the FIRST half. Which is the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
parody, where Peter gets a silver scroll and goes to the beer brewery and then gets kicked out.
28. FORE FATHER
Peter unsuccessfully teaches Chris to be responsible on a camping trip and then on the golf course. Meanwhile Brian successfully
convinces Stewie that booster shot he just received are part of an attempt to control his mind.
ME: Peter doesn't teach Chris at golf, it's Clevelend junior that he teaches and fails at.
29. THE THIN WHITE LINE
After becoming addicted to cocaine while working as a drug-sniffing police dog, Brian goes to rehab only to find Peter,
faking an addiction, is his roommate.
ME: Yeah, that's about right.
30. BRIAN DOES HOLLYWOOD
Brian moves to La to write screenplays but only finds work directing pornos, while Stewie's twisted rants on "Kids
say the darndest things" are thwarted by host Bill Cosby.
ME: Poor Bill Cosby, being made fun of by every satire there is! And by rants I think they mean Stewie tries to use a
mind control device and Bill Cosby steals it and makes everyone laugh.
31. MR. GRIFFIN GOES TO WASHINGTON
When Happy-Go-Lucky Toys is bought over by a tobacco conglomerate, Peter is made president and is sent to Washington to
lobby on behalf of the ciggerette peddlers.
32. ONE IF BY CLAM, TWO IF BY SEA
Peter and his friends are arrested for alledly burning down their faverite bar after it is transformed into a British
pub; meanwhile Stewie tries to remote the neighbor baby's cockney accent.
ME: Cockney??? Man, you shouldn't need a dictionary for explanations on THIS show!
33. AND THE WIENER IS
Peter becomes competetive with Chris when he discovers that he has a bigger penis, as Meg unsuccessfully tries to fit
in with the cool crowd at school and is pelted with rancid meat.
ME: Again, backwards! Meg is pelted before Peter discovers Chris's penis is bigger than his.
34. DEATH LIVES
After being struck by lightning while playing golf on his wedding anniversary Peter pleads with death to give him another
chance to make it up to Lois with a little help from Peter Frampton.
ME: Hey, they leave out the fact that first Peter has to help Death get a date!
35. LETHAL WEAPONS
Although her newly discovered tae-jitsu abilities are handy in dealing with abnoxious NY tourists, Lois fears her own
rage and enters the family into anger management which angers everyone.
ME: Yep, big fight scene that was a commercial on cartoon network for a while.
36. THE KISS SEEN ROUND THE WORLD
Meg leaps at an opportunity to intern at the local news station to be closer to her crush, Tom Tucker, only to discover
that Neil, who has a crush on her will also intern there.
ME: That's pretty much right.
<DIV>37. MR. SATURDAY KNIGHT</DIV>
<DIV>After Peter's boss chokes to death at the Griffin home, the toy factory is sold and Peter is forced to take
a job jousting at the local renaissance Faire.</DIV>
ME: He isn't really forced, Lois talks him into it because it was Peter's long lost dream to become a knight, because
the black knight saved his life from an LSD trip.
38. A FISH OUT OF WATER
Peter puts his family's house in jeopardy with a $50,000 loan for a fishing boat. Meanwhile Lois teaches Meg how to behave
like a tramp during Spring Break.
ME: Yeah, that's pretty close.
39. EMISSION IMPOSSIBLE
When Lois and Peter decide to have another baby, Stewie hops aboard a microscopic space craft and enter Peter's body in
an attempt to terminate his sperm.
ME: Yeah, that's right.
AD: 11/8?/01...wait a second, is it me or did they mess up it REALLY says the release date for this ep is 11/8 and I was
like what the fuck!?
40. TO LOVE AND DIE IN DIXIE
After Chris identifies an armed robber who's bent on revenge, the Griffins enter a witness protection program in a small
southern town, where Peter becomes sheriff.
ME: This episode gave the idea of the title of this site, Bumblescum is the name of that small southern town.
AD: 11/15/01? Again the date makes no sense or they really screwed up
41. SCREWED THE POOCH
While visiting Peter's in-laws, Brian falls in love with Seabreeze, the family greyhound, prompting an ugly custody battle
when the bitch becomes pregnant.
ME: Wow, when the bitch becomes pregnant, describe it that way if it were a guy and a girl and you get sewed.
42. PETER GRIFFEN: HUSBAND, FATHER...BROTHER?
Discovering he has black ansestry, Peter tries to connect with his alter ethnicity, while Stewie becomes obsessed with
learning mind control secrets of cheerleaders.
ME: Damn those mind controlling cheerleaders!
43. READY WILLING AND DISABLED
Unable to stop a car wash theif, Joe is humiliated until Peter encourages him to enter the special people's games and
go for the gold.
ME: Well first the signs for the people's games make Peter buy him balloons hahahahhaa.
44. A VERY SPECIAL FAMILY GUY FREAKING CHRISTMAS
Christmas time stress causes temporary insanity for Lois, but Stewie's faith in Santa is renewed when he receives the
plutonium he has put on his wish list.
ME: Don't forget the fact that Peter donated all the gifts to charity and misses Kiss Saves Santa.
45. BRIAN WALLOWS AND PETER SWALLOWS
As part of his sentence for drunk driving, Brian must care for a mean old hag. Meanwhile Peter houses an extremely rare
bird in his new beard.
46. FROM METHOD TO MADNESS
Meg and a nudist boy hit it off until she brings him home and the Griffins get naked to greet him, as Stewie fails in
his quest to become a local acting star,
ME: This is a pretty good episode.
47. STUCK TOGETHER, TORN APART
Peter's jealousy lands him a seperation from Lois and a date with Gwyneth Paitrow, whom he thoroughly disgusts, while
Brian and Stewie get glued together for an entire week.
ME: Wait wait wait....Gwyneth isn't disgusted by Peter she gets turned on by him!
48. ROAD TO EUROPE
Hoping to join a wholesome TV show family he thinks is real, Stewie hot air balloons to England, while Peter is proud
to learn that Lois was once a groupie known as "Loose Lois" for the legendary rock group KISS.
ME: Not only that, but Peter and Lois go touring around New England with KISS.
49. FAMILY GUY VIEWER MAIL #1
Viewer mail inspires three irrelevent tales in which Peter becomes a gelatinous blob, the Griffins develop superhuman
abilities and young Peter and Lois live in a warped "Little Rascals" type alternate reality.
ME: Ah, the last ever aired episode on Fox...until Feb of 2005!!!
*50. WHEN YOU WISH UPON A WEINSTEIN
In this controversial unaired episode, an impressive Jewish friend of Peter's, Mr. Weinstein, prompts Peter to encourage
Chris to become Jewish so he'll become successful too.
ME: Obviously this was made before last year when that episode was aired on Cartoon Network. But they have this one wrong,
Mr. Weinstein isn't Peter's friend, his car breaks down and Peter begs him to help him with his financial troubles, and he
thinks of the Chris becoming Jewish thing on his own, Weinstein objected to the idea!
And that is all for the episode guide!